


In A Hundred Lifetimes(I will love you)

by Zantedeschia



Category: The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Canonical Character Death, Inspired by Poetry, Light Angst, M/M, POV First Person, POV Henry Jekyll, Pining, letter format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29692104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zantedeschia/pseuds/Zantedeschia
Summary: The first time I remember you, your hair was black and you loved me...
Relationships: Henry Jekyll/Gabriel John Utterson
Kudos: 11





	In A Hundred Lifetimes(I will love you)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by 25 Lives, by Tongari

The first time I remember you, your hair was black and you loved me. 

Subtle brushes of your hand on mine, your gentle voice, your dark hazel eyes shining with unspoken admiration, nights spent by the fireplace, hastily scribbled letters, saying everything but the words that needed to be said. 

I lived for this little things, I lived for the little moments with you, however fleeting and often glossed over, it was the memories I cherished the most. 

I loved you too, but I can't say that, this century we're in cannot forgive us. 

\----

The next time I remember you, your hair was blond and you don't love me. 

You care, of course you do. It's in your nature, to be so kind and loving and selfless. How can I not fall for that? For your soft caress, for your gentle voice, for your soothing company, your eyes, they were blue this time, bright and expressive, an ocean I drown in every time. You care, you always do, but care is different from love. 

It hurts, but it's true. So I'll take what I can get, I'll be content with the comfort of your friendship. It's a slow torture, but I endured every second of it, even when it's painful, even when it's fruitless. 

I loved you still, it's quite hard not to, dear heart.

\----

The next lifetime and you weren't there. 

I waited and I waited and I waited, but you never came. I was anxious, I was worried. For what is there to live for when you're not here? What is there to wake up each morning for when I can't see your warm smile? When I can't hear your gentle voice? When I can't feel your steady presence by my side? What is the moon without its sun?

I still waited for you everyday, hoping it would be the one where I'll see you again. Fate is cruel, always has been, always will be. To make me fall for you over and over and over again, even when you didn't exist. 

I loved you, even when you only reside in my memories.

\----

The lifetimes where we grew up together were the ones I treasured the most.

There was something so special about watching us grow closer, watching us learn and succeed. When we would trade secrets and hiding places. When we have been there through each other's worst and best. 

It was something I held close in my heart, to look into your eyes–whatever color they were–and see the spark of understanding and softness, see every emotion flash before it. Always so kind, my dear, how can I ever live without you. 

I loved you, ever since the start. 

\----

Some lifetimes we would meet as adults. 

You were more discerning and cautious, your heart guarded fiercely with the barriers and limitations you've built. I don't blame you, for I've brought only misery and sadness to you, it is only fair. 

Yet you still forgive me. You still let me in. You still let me see that soft, loving smile of yours, unguarded and filled with warmth. I can never fully understand you, opening yourself to the man who broke you on multiple lifetimes. You're too kind for your own good sometimes, dearest. 

I loved you, even after all these years, I still do. 

\----

"Henry?!" Oh, that sweet voice. "Henry, wake up please? I'm here, please, wake up..." 

I looked up, eyes blurry with unshed tears. I saw a hazy outline of your face, tears running down your cheeks. My heart twisted as guilt gripped my chest. I hurt you. Again.

You lifted me into your arms and I sank into the touch. I gave you a wry smile, feeling the poison slowly taking its effect. 

"Harry... What have you done to yourself..." you choked as you cradled me.

"You damned idiot! Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you have to do this? Why..?" 

Guilt seized me once more, squeezing my lungs and heart, making it harder to breathe. I wanted to comfort you somehow, I wanted to ease that pain in your eyes. I wanted to see you smile, for the last time in this life. 

With what little strength I had left, I lifted my hand and laid them on your cheeks, wiping away your tears. 

"Hush, n-now," I gave you a wry smile, lips quivering as I searched for the next words to say, "I-I'll see you again..."

Technically not a lie, but you won't know that. You would assume I am only giving you false hope, that those are just words to comfort you. Oh, my dear, I would do anything to rid you of the pain I inflicted. 

I felt my eyes slipped close, my body going limp and my pulse fading. I died, again, not being able to put to words my adoration for you, not being able to utter the words that have been caged in the depths of my heart for centuries. Maybe in the next lifetime, I'll finally be able to do that. 

I loved and I love and I will love you, I do believe nothing on Earth is powerful enough to change that, my dear Gabriel.


End file.
